What Do We Do When the Inner Critic Rears It's Head?

The antithesis of self-compassion is self-judgement. 

You know how it is...you mess up, or something doesn't go as you planned. All of a sudden your inner critic rears it's head, and begins to incessantly belittle you. 

It may seem that the best way to fight the inner critic is to build up our positive self-image. To replace the negative with the positive–to find a power-up (like the Super Mushroom from Super Mario Brothers). 

Seems to make sense...fight the negative with positive, right? Pour some sugar on the bitterness. 

The thing is that as Kristin Neff says in her book Self-Compassion that "continually feeding our need for positive self-evaluation is a bit like stuffing ourselves with candy." 

If we think about it for a little while, we realize that simply replacing the negative for the positive is still rooted in self-judgement. Whether we judge something as good or bad, it's still a judgement. 

Instead what if you fully accept yourselves as you are–with a loving and open heart.

Just as YOU ARE. 

You are enough. 

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. You will too, and that's ok.

What is Self-Compassion? 

Self-Kindness vs Self-Judgement
Self-compassion is about kindness towards ourselves. Extending the same understanding, warmth, and love to ourselves as we would give to people we love.

We all benefit when we receive tenderness, and a gentle approach. The person we need this from the most is OURSELVES. 

Common Humanity vs Isolation
We are not alone.

Part of being human is being imperfect.

Mindfulness vs Over-Identification
Mindfulness is simply the awareness of the present moment. It’s paying attention to how you are experiencing life right this minute. Right now.

Noticing what is happening in your body, non-judgmentally.


The work of Self-Compassion is rooted in practice–daily practice. 


Find out how self-compassionate you are, by taking this self-compassion assessment

*This information comes from the research of Kristin Neff. 

Join us on April 8th for the Self-Compassion Summit

You will take away:

  • How to create a personal mindfulness practice

  • Techniques to integrate self-compassion into your daily life

  • Simple, effective ways to integrate nourishing self-care practices while juggling so many responsibilities

  • Trusting your inner teacher over your inner critic

  • Clarity on how you want to feel, and what you need to do each day to feel lit up

  • Ways to share these life-changing practices with the people you support


Date: Saturday, April 8th, 2017

Time: 10:30 - 5:45

Location: Highstreet Mall (Unit J150)

 3122 Mount Lehman Rd, Abbotsford BC

Investment: Early Bird Rate $75

After March 31st the price goes up to $100

To Learn More Click HERE

Self-Compassion Summit
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30–Day Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Challenge

My Friend Brandi Matheson, who is a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction facilitator, are pairing up to offer you a 30 day challenge to begin or deepen you mindfulness and self-compassion practice. 

Do you: 

– find yourself stuck on autopilot. "I'm too busy" enters your mind all the time. 

–think that everyone else's needs are more important that your own. 

 –feel like life is passing by–you're surviving, but not enjoying little moments.

–let your inner critic reign supreme. 

–stuff your feelings. When something painful happens, you stuff, stuff, stuff your feelings. 

The challenge has 4 different weekly themes. 

Week 1–Self-Kindness

Depression and anxiety are at an all time high. According to the Mental Health Commission of Canada 1 in 5 people have a diagnosed mental health issue...many struggle without being diagnosed.

According to SAMHSA's (US) 2014 study, 43.6 million people age 18 and up experience some kind of mental health issue.

Research is saying that a lack of self-kindness and self-compassion is contributing to these numbers.

❤️ Self-compassion is a concept that is not always super easy to understand. It can be difficult to integrate self compassion and creating a daily practice of self-kindness into our lives.

❤️ Self-compassion also differs from self-esteem.

❤️ When we begin to create daily mindfulness and self-compassion practices, we feel better about ourselves and we are better able to make choices that contribute to our overall wellness.

❤️ We can start exploring things that light up us. Find our curiosity. Build stronger connection& community. Figure out how we want to feel and make deliberate choices that make us feel good most of the time.

❤️ It starts with self-kindness. Offering ourselves the same kindness we would give others we love.

Week 2–Clearing Space and Practicing Stillness


In a world where we feel barraged by commitments and information, we will explore what the idea of making space for what we really want. In order to add the things we want into our lives, we need to get rid of something.

✨ We will talk about: - The compulsion of society to be busy all the time.

✨ Technology and how it can get in the way of being present.

✨ Desire and contentment. - Creating space for the sacred in your life

✨ The power of saying no, and the freedom that comes with saying no. 

Week 3-Sitting With Discomfort.

We all want to feel good, but feeling good, involves growth. Growth doesn't come without discomfort. We tend to get apprehensive and shy away from feeling uncomfortable.

However when we change our perspective on discomfort it can be so freeing. It's just a part of the journey.

🌿  We will explore the idea of sitting with discomfort this week.

🌿  We will talk about how building a new practice comes with challenges.

🌿  We will also explore the idea of resistance and how it shows up when we are building something new.

Week 3–Creating Community

We are wired for connection. We are so deeply interconnected with one another, yet we live in a society that is becoming increasingly individualistic. 

This week will be all about exploring the importance of electric connection. 

We will talk about:

❤️ Understanding worldview. We each come to the table with a different way of looking at the world. When we understand that truths are not "absolute" for everyone, we begin to be able to understand multiple perspectives. 

❤️  Judgement vs. discernment. It is impossible not to judge. We are wired to judge. However with a sense of mindfulness, and understanding of worldview, we can learn to suspend our judgement towards others. Eventually changing out whole perspective. 

❤️ We are wired for community/the need for belonging. We will explore the idea of building those rich, electric connections.

❤️  We will talk about creating open, safe spaces. Spaces that are built on love and acceptance, and letting go of the need to see an outcome.

The 30 day Mindfulness and Self-Compassion challenge begins on December 1st, 2016. 

You will receive an email every morning. 

The email will contain a short audio meditation, or a mindful movement video. Each day you will have some thoughts for reflection and some days each week you will get a simple worksheet on the theme for the week. 

I want to join the 30 Day challenge!If you want in–sign up here!